Keep the Change

(Disclaimer: The guys mentioned actually include most everyone I know minus my dad whom I call ‘Weeping Willow’ and, like, one guy I dated)

They can’t cry or they don’t, because it doesn’t seem manly, and, honestly, even though the emotions that sometimes bring tears on SUCK a good cry can feel so good…

I find myself making the same kind of whimpering noises as my dog.

I hope the people around me find it as cute as I do when my dog does it!

Just so you know, I don’t think I’ve had a scarier birthday than 27. Maybe 12, because I was super sure I wasn’t going to make it past the age of 12 (don’t ask…I’m weird), but that was more relief, because A-HA! I made it, suckers!

27 was the age where I knew I wasn’t going to know where I was going to end up, but I was pretty sure I’d have a grasp on it, you know? Like, yeah, maybe I would still be like the show Friends, but more the later seasons when they’ve kind of found their calling. Not the early seasons when Rachel’s a waitress, and Monica’s just finding whatever food gigs are available. But, you know, Life if kind of funny in the way that it takes everything you THOUGHT was going to happen and knocks them on their ass.

Like……I totally thought that I was going to be crying on my birthday, but my roomie (Nurse Practitioner, if y’all didn’t get the update) surprised me with BFFLAAL. That’s right, I came home, and BFFLAAL was there! Just sitting…..commenting on my outfit! It was awesome. THEN, Manager and Roomie threw me a surprise party at Manager’s house. It was also awesome. At one point, Manager said to me, “you are so lucky.” (not in a “I’m amazing, look at what I did for you way”, but in a you have such amazing people - that aren’t me - around you that really care about you.) I looked around, saw my friends playing beer pong, talking amongst themselves, picking up the scraps from the Toy Story 3 pinata Manager made me hit blindfolded, making fun of my cake (meaning the picture of ME on my cake), and thought, “yeah, you’re right.”

So, yeah, maybe the job part of my life blows, and I don’t know exactly what I want, but I think I have some pretty amazing friends….and, really, isn’t that what our sad lives are about?

I don’t know if some of you know this about me, but I’m a little OCD. I’m not the kind that needs things to be “just so” (I’m wayyyyy too messy for that), but I do need things in my LIFE to be “just so”. Here are the things that have thrown me off track today:

• The mystic tanning machine at my regular place is broken causing me to go to the nicer, newer, closer to my house place.
• It’s a good 15 degrees cooler making it a PERFECT 85 degrees and thus signaling that summer is almost over. Who wants perfect weather if it means the end of the perfect season?
• I had to use the SECOND stall in my work bathroom, because the first one (my usual) was dirty, and the handicapped one (my back-up) was occupied.

These might seem like small things to the regular person. BUT I AM GOING CRAZY!!!!!!! It’s all DIFFERENT!

**Might be overreacting. I don’t care.

sade:

Nobody cares about your hopes and dreams you stupid whore.

Shut up and get off my internet.

 BAHAHAHAHAHAAH……(edited the “bad” language)

2 summers ago I got my dog. He seemed like a really big responsibility at the time, and a huge money pit, but I love him.

Last summer, I bought my house. It seems like a really big responsibility, and will hopefully pay off in the end, and I love it.

This summer, the last huge thing my parents had paid off for me, my car, died. I bought a new one (fine. I leased it.) It seems like a really big responsibility, and a huge money pit, and I WANT MY OLD FREE CAR BACK!!!!!!!!

What can happen next summer? Menopause? That’s the only thing I can think of in the realm of possibility that could possibly make me more grown-up.

By the way, I know you were thinking Marriage might be a developmental milestone, but I said “in the realm of possibility”, people.

At some point, someone’s not going to show up for us. Maybe we should all get used to that feeling now instead of being surprised by it in the nursing home.

I feel what you’re doing.

I do not approve.

I’ve done something that will forever change my IQ.

Last night, while buying the sequel to “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” (A book, by the way, that I was against for a very long time, because I thought it was a stupid title until I found out it was written by a European, and that completely changed things) ANYWAY, I also saw that they had the Kendra memoir so….I bought it at 10:00 p.m. last night.

And finished it at 1:30 a.m.

Girl was crazy! I had no idea! (And, for those that are interested in the inner workings of the Playboy Mansion - whoa. They actually DID do stuff with Hef. I know, right?!)

But…I’ve now lost valuable brain cells after reading such riveting sentences as “My mom was strict, man!”

C’est la vie.