January 2010
32 posts
What's Cool About being an Aunt
If my sister kicks the bucket I (Yes, me: the most immature girl on the planet who a recovering irresponsible-ic) will be this little baby’s closest thing to a mother figure.
Chew on that, bitches.
If I could bake
I would make the shiz out of some gingerbread cookies.
Wait, cookies sound good just in general. I could totally do that!
But then I’ll eat them…
And then I’ll get fat.
I get no respect!
Me: Go look at my tumblr.
Max's Mom: omgggggggggg - you should seriously be a graphic designer!!!
Me: haha
Max's Mom: your photo editing skillz are AMAZING!!! HAHAHAH
Me: HEY! that was HARD WORK! I have to do all that shiz with PAINT! That's not even a part of the Microsoft Office FAMILY...it's an ACCESSORY!
Max's Mom: Your paint skillz are amazing. You should start giving classes and make people pay!
Me: I know I should, but I feel like you are being sarcastic, and, therefore, am choosing to ignore you.
I Promote Reading
I am currently writing a book for my niece (in case I die, and she’s stuck with the other people in my family who are ridiculous and have no idea) called: Aunt KTC’s Guide to Flirting.
I think this is something that could easily be passed down from generation to generation.
Today My Life Has Changed.
Today, I am an Aunt.
Biggest Pet Peeve
When people use movie quotes, and then put the actor’s name under it.
No, the dumb-ass, non-high school graduate did not say that eloquent quote. He/She was reciting the words he/she saw on a page. It was some nerd (or group of nerds) writing the screen play.
At least put their CHARACTER’s name under the quote. Shiz.
“When Omar’s pet monkey was deliberately run over by one of Osama’s...”
– From a Rolling Stone article on Omar bin Laden, Osama’s son.
A follow-up article should be: “Is Osama bin Laden the real Borat??”
Things I enjoy watching
Jimmy Kimmel ripping Jay Leno a new one.
A letter from Max's Mom. Well, actually from a...
Max’s Mom often times forwards me the letters she received from a dating site she is on. This is one such letter that I (helpfully) added on to (in bold):
Hi!
I enjoyed reading your profile and was smiling as I read it……you certainly are a unique person (is this a nice way to say, “Hey, you are a total nutjob!”?)
I thought of what to write and realized either you would...
3 tags
Do you ever look at the kids from "Jersey Shore"...
Because I do.
And then I wonder if my 15 will be just as big.
“But what if someone from another faith won’t recognize yours? Or wants you...”
– Have a Little Faith by Mitch Albom
“Kit: Whoa. Whoa. What is this?
Vivian: It’s part of the Edward Lewis...”
– Pretty Woman
Retraction
My sister called me out for this post. I had previously told her it was a “Friendly dinner thing”. I told her that it, indeed, was a “friendly dinner thing” (and not a date), but that would be too hard to explain to my readers.
Note: It was designated a “friendly dinner thing”, because the guy pissed me off, but wanted to take me to dinner as an apology or...
Thank you, World.
Today was kind of a crappy day, because I was at home sick, and I hate being home sick, because I have no one to talk to and (besides dog) it’s pretty lonely.
THEN Nurse Practitioner called me. She said that she had a Nurse Practitioner’s association meeting that I could come to, and have a free dinner.
“Free dinner?” I said.
“Free dinner.” She said.
So, I...
Sick Day
I had a fever all last night, and took off the day from work.
Note: Sitting in bed all day looking at facebook can make a bad day 100 times worse.
The Five W's
Who: The guy I’ve had a crush on for about two years, but I never thought would give me the time of day. He’s gorgeous: 6’6”, Brown hair, Brown-green eyes, perfect eyebrows, PERFECT body (this is known, because I first met him at a pool party).
What: KISSED ME! (and got my phone number for an excursion at a later date)
When: Saturday night
Where: um…a late night my...
Had a First Date
First Dates Involve Drinking
Drinking means I am at work MISERABLE.
Warren Beatty,
When did you find the time?
I am The Cat KILLER!!!!
Minding my own business (something I have learned from this experience) I was heading to my mom’s house to drop something off. About 15 blocks from her house I saw a cat. I thought, “whoa! It’s about to be in the teens tonight. Cats can’t survive those temperatures…I don’t think. Let me see if it has a necklace (Collar…whatever. I’m letting you know...
I know already. I'm an asshole.
My brother-in-law is going to get drinks with my ex-boyfriend on Friday. The ex is giving him a present for the baby. This wouldn’t be so bad, but everytime I even LIKE someone my BIL and my sister tell me they want my ex back. Consider this: I wanted to punch my ex in the face everytime he opened his mouth. Should I have stayed with that even though he would never do anything to hurt me?...
Work Is Killing My Creative Soul
Translation: I think waking up early, and staring at a computer screen is giving me under-eye bags and wrinkles.
Worst Day of My Life: Vince Vaughn is Married. →
“I don’t know much about being a millionaire, but I’ll bet I’d be darling at it.”
– Dorothy Parker (via kari-shma) (via quote-book)